Etsy Shop Delays; New Page Soon!

I am so sorry!!

I really want to cry right now!!

I have just spent the last 2 hours picking out a shop name and setting up my listings, just to be defeated by my bank account!!!

Embarrassingly enough, my bank account is overdrawn (by a lot) and my card has been shut down…

So I can’t even set up my shop without it!

I was hoping I’d be able to use my PayPal to set it up, as I have some of my emergency money on there (I know, strange), but nope. Guess not!

Well… in that case…

I’m going to make a page here and list the items I have so far myself!

Screw you Etsy! (for now…)

Like I said, I have a working paypal, and can use that to make all my transactions. You may contact me with any questions, requests, or concerns.

Since I am not working, all I have is time! Getting to the post office (as long as it’s not closed) would be nearly instant and not an issue.

My items that I make are all as is, and can be made to order. I don’t have a lot of back stock on each item…yet. So there would only be one of each listed item.

If I’ve sold the item, I can make you another (given I have all the materials) as fast as I humanly can. I’m very open with communication, so you’d be informed every step of the way, and no payment would be needed until item is ready to be shipped. (I think that’s fair). I’m open to negotiations and recommendations and requests.

The new page will be up and running soon!

Keep checking back in!

Thank you so much for your support and interest!

My Tiny Creations!

Ta-Da!!!

I have finally finished my newborn hat and scratch mittens that I’ve been working on. They are so tiny and cute!! And whatever this yarn is, is SO soft!! I love it. Really sad that I have no idea what it is. It feels natural, which is good. 

I managed to get them all to a size that I like, but I did make one mitten that came out really little. I’m going to make another to match it and sell them as premie mittens- which I have to make a hat to match too.

Etsy store will be up soon!!! Hopefully today!

Let me know if you would like me to make a set for you! Or a gift for a friend!! They really came out nicely in my opinion! Very pleased!!

The Chaos Continues

I haven’t written in a few days… my bad! Totally not my intention. I’d love to try to get in a little something daily. Been really all over the place lately.

My work at home gig- died. Kind of happy that it did, because it was really getting me down. Recruitment is not for me. I hate hasseling people, at their jobs, trying to bribe them into something that they aren’t interested in. Its one of those jobs where its not really on you if you can’t get people into an offer. If they don’t want a new job, I can’t force them. No matter how hard I work at it, its just not in me to push people. Not getting results, made me feel like shit. I felt bad that I wasn’t able to do better, which just brought it into a vicious cycle of crap.

I’ve been re-focusing myself onto more hands on things.

I started crocheting more things. I’ve put my baby blanket on pause for a bit and started to make baby cocoon and hats. I also made Connor (my baby) a hat, and am going to start on some scratch mittens soon.

All the cocoons and hats I make will be going up on Etsy soon. So if you are interested in them, check back in with me on details about my shop… I haven’t made it yet… But I will!

They are coming out really great! I’m getting really proud of myself, and I’m pumping them out pretty quick too. Which is great! If anyone has any requests on knit or crochet items or gifts, let me know. I am self-taught, and have been learning as I go.


Goat Update!

In case you didn’t read about it in my previous post, I’ve been working on rescuing a goat.

It’s one of my neighbors goat. I’ve found out since my last report to the police, that its name is General Lee – terrible name for this poor little guy.

I’ve since had to make another more urgent call to the police to help save him from choking to death.

I was driving by (he lives along my private drive, so I see him daily) and I saw him, yet again, caught up in his wire cord, chain. I couldn’t stop at that moment because I was bringing Anthony to work, and didn’t want to make him late.

I had to do a lot of running around and when I finally had gotten back home, he was so bound up that his face was dragged into the ground. The chain is connected to one of those metal spiral spikes that you stick into the ground. I freaked out! Not only is this post in the middle of an uncovered area, but he’s been stuck like this in North Carolina sun and heat for HOURS!

Franticly, I started working on this mangled mess of metal cord, while I was on the phone with the police. It was so twisted and round up that no matter how hard I tried to untwist it, it wasn’t coming undone. I even thought to take off his collar, but to my horror, the cord had got wrapped around his neck and was starting to dig in and choke him out! I was nearly crying on the phone with the cops, begging them to hurry down. I did manage to get it loose enough to where he could breathe and hold his head up again.

While General Lee and I waited for the officer, I went around and ripped off branches from the trees to give him some much needed food. There wasn’t anyone home for at least 2-3 days, so I know he’s been starving; as there is also NO grass within his reach.

So the cop finally got there and we spend 45 minuets of trying to get him unstuck and let him loose while we continued to unravel the tangled mess. General Lee was munching grass all the while – so cute! He had concluded that there was NO WAY that the goat could have tangled himself up like that, that it must have been done intentionally – which I don’t know, I think there is neglect, but I don’t know about them doing that to him. It must have just been hours of circling around and around that got it so messed up. I want to leave some room for benefit of the doubt.

He made another call to animal control & rescue and they said, basically, that since there were now 2 (empty) buckets out that she has complied with the first complaint of no food… as there was only 1 bucket out before (also empty). I shouldn’t say empty, they were filled with rainwater and bugs. So, in that case, she was “being compliant” and “trying”. I call Bullshit on that one. I filed another report with the officer about the cord, because that is my reason for stopping so often, to untangle him.

Later on that day, as I was running one last errand for the day. She had come home, found the notice, and moved the goat to the other side of the house where I can’t see him so easily… bitch.

Where I fear that my rescue attempts are slowing ending, I can rest somewhat more easily knowing that there is at least grass on that other side of their ran-down trailer, and some more shade that was he had. I keep my eye out for him still as I drive by. She’s home more often now too.

Getting Lost & Saving Goats

Holy shit!

I haven’t been so busy as I was yesterday in a long time.

I feel so accomplished that I had gotten so much done, but I am EXHAUSTED!

My to-do list starting out was fairly basic and simple.

  • Doctor
  • Bank
  • DMV
  • Post Office
  • Cat Food

What ended up actually happening was 90% of the above with so much more!

Doctor – My 30 Week Check-up @ The OB

So to start off I had to go see my doctor, my official 30 week check-up!

I was pretty excited to go for some reason, mostly that I can start counting down the days.

While I was sitting in the waiting room – accidentially sitting in a very comfortable but deep, squishy rocking chair that I couldn’t get out of – I saw something that was kind of sad.

There was a woman being led out of the office in cuffs & shackles. She was laughing and smiling. Given her situation she seemed to be doing alright. She was in an obnoxisouly BRIGHT pink jump suit and was wearing the oh-too familiar prison slippers (I’ve deal with people in prison in the past – not my own experience – just to clarify).

Her escorting officer seemed as nice as she could be, but I feel like she was trying to rush her along, as the entire waiting room was staring at her with the meanest looks, and the most judging eyes. It was really the saddest part of it all.

I was sitting next to the exit, so they walked by me and I could see her big mama belly showing through the jumpsuit. Everyone, after grilling her out the door then all looked at me for some reason. Maybe cause I was facing them as they stared towards the door. i just kept smiling while they had looks of absolute disgust on their faces.

I can’t judge that woman! I don’t know her story. She’s incarcerated and pregnant. I can only imagine and make up my own stories of how I want her life to be like. I hope she is ok, and is doing as well as I would want to believe.

So, I finally get called into the office and they check my ever increasing weight and ask how I’m doing.

Then they take my Blood Glucose track sheet…

I got really scared and nervous.

I’ve managed to do pretty well, having NO idea of what I’m really doing. But… there are a few numbers on there that I was REALLY wanting to erase or whiteout.

I was seeing a new doctor, who was nice, but not the one I really like. But, they want me to meet all the on-call doctors, just so I can have a face to a name when I go into labor.

She kind of scolded me and gave me a more serious and scary talk about what the absolute worst case sinario could be if I don’t address the situation – meaning the awful sad, mood killing talk of late-term deaths… I wanted to cry. It really set my mood off and made me really scared.

A part of me was wanted to tell her to take him out now then! Crazy, I know. But I’m already a worrier, and get scared easy. My anxiety is really bad at times, so that didn’t help.

They want to see me next week to look at my numbers again before putting me on medicine…

I have to do better!!!

 

Getting Lost in Little Switzerland!

So after the doctor, I finally went to the bank to cash my check (as I am SOOO overdrawn in my account). It felt nice to have a few bucks in my pocket again.

Since I am still semi-unfamiliar with the area and driving around, I found the address for the DMV on my phone and got the GPS going on it.

Everything seemed right. The time, distance, rough guess on location (I know where it is, just couldn’t figure out how to get there) alright, good! Let’s go!

Driving, and driving, and driving!

Listening to music. Got my windows down! Feeling good!

Going up this crazy beautiful mountain, winding roads. It was amazing!

Going up, and up, and up. And around bends and up the mountain, “You have reached your destination.” WHAT?!

I was nowhere! I was going up a mountain! There wasn’t anything but trees around me. Totally NOT where I knew the DMV was. So I had to keep on going until I could find a safe spot to pull over and look at my phone.

Turned out I was somewhere called Little Switzerland. Which seemed absurdly appropriate because of how lost I was and how outlandish that kind of name would be in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina! I guess it was big on gem mines, because they were EVERYWHERE! I wanted to stop and go check out a mine, and get gems (would be so cool to add them to my crafting). But I had places to go and things to do. So I’ll save that adventure for another day!

I ended up having to put down the animal shelter location, knowing it was next to the DMV. I don’t know why I couldn’t get it to work before…

So now I’m a little more determined and a little more upset, as I barrel down this mountain towards my right destination. I was a long way off.

I finally got there and switched over my ID from Washington to North Carolina!

I AM OFFICIAL!

After all that, I went to the post office and got some packages that were waiting for me. Yay! More baby gifts!

I had to go home and eat something after all that. I was STARVING!!

 

D To The Rescue!

There is this goat down our road that one of our neighbors owns. Its in REALLY bad shape.

We have been trying to save its life for a little over a month now.

It is chained to the middle of their yard. It has a dog-house with a pillow that is “under” a tree for some “shade”. That pillow is SOAKED with shit and piss. It NEVER has food or water. It has eaten ALL of the grass it can reach from its chain.

That chain gets him SO tangled that we have to stop by every day and untangle him. We find up hog-tied in the middle of the yard, boiling in the sun all the time.

The first time me and Anthony found him lying there SCREAMING, he was so bound up that his leg was rubbed RAW from the chain. He was limping really bad. The wound was festering. It smelled like rot and wasn’t looking good. At all. That was when we started calling police.

After many calls and complaints to police and animal rescue, yesterday on my way home from the post office, Steve (Anthony’s dad) messaged me, asking me to go give the goat some water. He had spent 30 minuets untying his chain and giving him some breathing room, as he gets so caught up he gets stuck in the sun all day. He said he called the police again, and that they were sending someone down to check it out.

I ate some lunch and filled up a gallon jug of water and headed down to see little goat.

As I pulled up, there was the cop! I was hesitant at first to do anything, it isn’t my goat. I want them to get in trouble! But the goat knows us by now and recognizes my car, so he started crying out to me. I had to help him out! So I grabbed my jug and got out to give him water. The cop saw me and came out to talk to me.

To keep this story from getting any longer, I filed a report and told him what has been going on. The officer could see that this goat was in bad shape and that it was definately hurting and neglected. I told him, we want this goat! At this point it is ours! We take care of him! We have a barn in the shade for him, he’d be so happy. He seemed to get my point.

I gave him my number and he told me he would talk to someone to see if they could get the “owners” to agree to release the goat, and we could have him. I felt satisfied. We talked for a good long while. Poor goat drank a gallon of water in that short time.

Later on that day, the owners showed up (they only do about 1-2 times per week mind you) and put up a sign for us to see that “General Lee was well taken care of, by her kids (they are maybe 6 and younger). That he had gotten attacked by a ‘brindle pit-bull’ that lives up the road” There is no pitbull of ANY color on our road. AND “up the road”, is more “up our driveway” and that would be us… we don’t have a pit. Or anything brindle. And our animals wouldn’t hurt this goat cause we have loose chickens and they are fine. So the entire thing was hilarious and we are going to continue our fight for “General Lee”

 

“Working” At Home

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Haha! I did it! I managed to score a job working at home.

It’s a terrible job. I really don’t like it at all. Sorry, just being honest.

I am the dreaded recruiter. Yup. I’m the one you hang up on the moment I start talking.

But, it really isn’t what most people (including myself) think it is.

I’m not selling ANYTHING.

What I am specifically doing is calling restaurants and looking for managers who might want a new job. 98% of the time I get the, “So you are stealing my managers?” No – not really.

I’m really just calling to see if you are interested in a new position and maybe you would be getting more out of the change. Maybe better pay, better benefits, more chances for growth opportunity.

I can’t steal anyone. I can only offer something better if you aren’t happy.

I have to say, I’m not really good at it.

After so many phone calls of me saying the same thing over and over, I’m pretty much not arguing with anybody about it.

Which is sad. I really do like my boss. He is super understanding of my situation, and helps me out when he can.

It’s something that is PERFECT for being a first time mom.

After moving around so much, and obviously getting more and more pregnant, finding a job is nearly impossible.

I have always been a worker. I work with my hands. I love it. I’ve never NOT worked. So I’m going stir crazy and feel so much guilt watching Anthony struggle and stress over work and money while I just have to sit around. It’s not my style. It’s miserable. So making a few bucks here and there when I can, really makes a difference.

Again, I’m not rolling in big dough right now. I’m making just enough to help pay for some of the smaller things. Which is better than nothing, right?

Me not being the best sales person – (I never was very good at retail… well except for one retail job, hehe, but that is a TOTALLY different story, for another time – remind me of that one. It’s a cool story.) I can feel like this job is closing in on me. Which makes me nervous.

It’s not like I can force anyone to take the job offer, it’s really just finding the right person who does want a new job. So just calling, and calling, and calling… It’s really boring. But I need to bring in results or I’m going to be out of this perfect gig.

I really do wish that I had something else that I can do from home. I know there are tons of people out there who do it, and make some good money.

I want to be able to be home with my child. Focus on doing things that I love. Try to get back into some sort of schooling…

I have 2 small businesses that I’ve been trying to start.

  1. I am trying to start a eBay business. I have TONS of stuff to go through and start selling. We have a storage unit that needs to be emptied soon, cause they are tired of paying for a unit full of crap. Sorry, but 90% of it is. & I have a huge shed in the backyard that is just a dumping ground of more crap. Literally, there are just boxes (most of them empty) throw around in there. But, both the guys are working now, and I can’t lift anything! AND it’s not my stuff so I can’t just say trash or sell to stuff that isn’t mine. So it’s just a waiting game, until I pop. Annoying! I could be making us some serious money, and making a lot of room in that shed for the shit in the storage unit! UGH!
  2. I make handmade things. I’ll have a whole page on this soon. I crochet & knit. I also make some pretty amazing dream catchers. Most of my dream catcher material is 99% recycled goods, like clothes. I try to make as much of it from the things I have around me. I live in the woods and have chickens, so I collect feathers (the nice ones) and branches and leaves from outside. I’ve been wanting to add my own vials of sediments and water from our river, or macrame some of the nicer rocks, stones, and gems that I have. I’ve also started making my own doilies, which actually came out really good – considering I’ve taught myself everything and just follow videos on YouTube. BUT… at the moment, I am working on making a blanket for my baby so other projects are kind of secondary at the moment… Also extremely annoying!!!

I hope that once I pop this kid out, I’ll be able to get some of my things back on track. But, I’m sure that’s easier said than done.

*sigh*

Now that I’ve procrastinated enough time on here, I have to go actually make phone calls. Sorry, if I call you while you are at work. Just bear with it.

To anyone who is making money working from home… SHOW ME HOW!!!

Gestational Diabetes… Great!

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It was a time bomb really.

I was kind of expecting it to happen, because my mother had it and so did my aunt.

Also, diabetes is just part of my family (on both sides) anyway…

I was just really hoping not to have to deal with it.

Luckily (so far…) I’m not taking any medication or insulin. Thank god! As strange as it may seem – I have a huge fear of needles! Strange because I have tattoos and piercings, but just can’t deal with it, although I’ve gotten a little better about it.

Anthony, who was used to testing blood and giving insulin to his grandmother, was the first to test my blood for me.

30 minuets of me screaming and pulling my arm away. Laughing, sweating, and crying all at the same time, he managed to finally prick my finger – which was laughably not bad at all. He wanted to kill me it was getting so annoying! “Your going to have to do this 4 TIMES A DAY! How are you going to get through this?!” Then it was over. “Oh. That wasn’t bad.” I said so quietly. We both started cracking up, even though he was giving me the, “you are so crazy I could choke you” look.

(Heads up: We have both come from abusive backgrounds in our past. We have always been support for each other when it came to this, because not many people knew about it, and we were always very open about it with each other. Having gone through tough times with abuse, and know its damages and effects first hand – we have now come to form a relationship were we can laugh and joke about it. Some may find it inappropriate, and in bad taste, but we choose to accept our pasts and get over it with laughter. Our hard roads have given us VERY tough skin, but we manage to find our ways into each other soft spots and nurture them- in our own way. I am sorry if you have gone through abusive times in your life and I would love to share stories with you. People have different ways of dealing with their pain, and some may be able to help you in ways you didn’t think of yet. Talking about it is healthy in my opinion.)

Finally over (somewhat) the fear of pricking my stupid finger, keeping track of my levels is fairly easy. Keeping a “balanced” diet is a little harder.

We are HUGE snackers. I love junk foods. Breads, pastas, chips, carbs!! YES!

I really don’t drink a lot of sodas. I have sugar in my coffee – prefer honey in my teas – if any sweetener at all. I really do like watering down my juices – so I drink more water.

But, its my meals that are killing me! And after dinner snacks… what am I supposed to eat while watching Netflix?!

Breakfast

Is typically the same everyday – I know, kind of strange.

I was never really a breakfast person to begin with, but being pregnant and having to eat, might as well keep it yummy and “healthy”.

I have a cup of coffee, with milk and now 1 sugar. It got it down from 3 – also down to 1 cup. Having lived in Washington there was coffee drive-thru stands (I called them huts) on every corner!! I would get at least a 24oz hot mocha with 4-6 shots of espresso. So yum! Miss it… But probably good that I’ve stopped that. But, hey! I was a dog groomer and we opened at 7 AM. YOU try to wake up with out it, then go wash stinky dogs (who don’t want the bath) getting soaked, probably pooped on, then nearly die of humidity and flying dog hair. Yeah! I’d want an IV drip of coffee at that point.

Back to my point…

So coffee… and 2 pieces of whole wheat toast with peanut butter.

Made the mistake of eating white toast (cause I ran out) one day and that was a huge mistake. My sugar went up like crazy. But it was interesting to see what 1 tiny deviation from my norm would do.

I also don’t sit there and measure out my peanut butter before spreading, because who has time for that?! Really.

Sometimes I cut up half a banana and add that to my toast – if I feel daring! Oohh half a banana!

Things I’ve noticed you should stay away from (that I’ve learned so far) for breakfast are:

  • pop-tarts
  • packets of instant oatmeal
  • white bread
  • a whole banana

 

Lunch

This one I am pretty all over the place with.

I’m pretty bad when it comes to eating. Before getting pregnant (and working as a dog groomer and dealing with a divorce probably didn’t help this) I was REALLY under weight. I’ve never been so low in my life – minus being a child. I had lost my butt, my boobs, I was looking sickly and as if I had an eating disorder. I called it stress. I was eating just not well, much, or regularly. In short- my lowest weight was 107lbs.

Now back up to 160lbs!!!! (I tend to have always averaged around 145lbs) I still eat horribly. Mostly grazing and snacking through-out my day.

So by lunchtime, I eat some fruits, and veggies if I have any around.

Living in an Italian home (where the MEN COOK – so lucky, so delicious!) sometimes there is some left over pasta salad or some sorts that I (try to) eat about 1/2- 1 cup of. This is actually do (try) to measure out. Or at least put it in a small bowl. Because I LOVE Italian food and can’t really help myself. After I serve my sad little helping I run away from the delicious pasta and pretend its not there.

But, mostly for lunch I graze, or eat some sort of veggie/fruit mix. Maybe a yogurt or something. I try to keep it light because I know dinner is coming and that will set me WAY back.

Things I’ve noticed you should stay away from (that I’ve learned so far) for lunch are:

  • too much pasta
  • too much mixed nuts & raisins
  • too much cheese in your grilled cheese (a favorite that I’m having to leave behind me)
  • if you love it, try to only like it and pretend you ate it all already…

 

Dinner

UGH! This one is HARD!

As I said, Italian home. Men cooking.

Yum.

Bad…

I love that Anthony and his dad both cook! THANK YOU GUYS!!

I come from a home where the women are BAD cooks. We all really dislike it, but try our best. Over time we manage to find our ways, and have our own “dishes” that we really try to perfect and stick to.

But that’s another story entirely…

Anthony and his dad cook Italian food (heaven!). So it tends to be HEAVY in carbs and fats, and cheese, and grease, and yum yum yum!!

So, I try to limit myself and put only 1/2 of the portion that I really want. Knowing I’m going to eat a little more anyways.

Last night we went out to eat – ugggh!!

We live in the south, so BBQ! YUM YUM YUM!!!

I tried, I really did. But how can you really eat healthy in a BBQ joint?! HOW?!

So I got the little platter dish and stuffed my face happy – knowing I was going to be upset about it later. And I was, but damn it was good!

I do try to walk after dinner. We take the dogs on a walk a few laps around the property. Sometimes getting at least a mile in, before we go back in. That REALLY helps. But, being now 30 weeks pregnant, and being so hot and humid out, it is really hard to keep up with it and stick to a work-out routine.

Things I’ve noticed you should stay away from (that I’ve learned so far) for dinner are:

  • Anything yummy
  • Anything fattening
  • Large portions of Italian food
  • BBQ – most of it
  • Careful with sauces and dips and dressings
  • Carbs

 

Some tips that I’ve gotten to help keep things at a somewhat healthy and manageable number:

  • portion out your dressings/dips into a cup and dip your fork in it before stabbing salad. You get some dressing in every bite and you aren’t tempted to over drown your healthy option of greens.
  • Try to eat your non-starchy veggies first- before you dive into your yummy food. To try and fill you up first
  • Say goodbye to anything other than unsweetened tea and water. All I drink is water (minus my morning coffee), mainly because I never really drank water in my life before this, AND so I can maybe squeeze in something yummy and bad, without putting me over an edge.
  • WALK! exercise. Move! It helps lower your sugars by burning it off. If I know I was bad I’ll try to walk around a little more, in a desperate attempt to erase that extra taco that I know I shouldn’t have eaten.

First Blog Post

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What on Earth am I doing?!

I tend to find myself thinking this a lot these days…

This is not my first attempt at a blog, but this IS one blog that I do feel that I have a good purpose for and have some great ideas and thoughts to share with people- and new mamas!

There are a lot of new “Firsts” for me right now; not just a new blog- which I am totally excited about!

My most important “First” is the reason I’m even doing any of this- MY FIRST CHILD!

And I couldn’t be happier!!

As I’m sure all new moms do, I’ve been reading on every. little. thing. I can find.

Doing so much more research than necessary, if there is even such a thing. Making tons, and tons, and TONS, and TONS, of lists. Going through bouts of over-prepared & over-thinking, to feeling totally under-prepared & under-thinking. Trying to think 100 steps and 100 years ahead, while still trying to manage my day-to-day. But. I have to say I really don’t feel stressed- surprisingly…(?)

I’m sure it will all hit me at once when that delivery day comes (August 23rd, 2017). But for right now, I’m just hanging out and like I said, trying to do as much as I can, while I can.

I keep fighting this urge to tell a little about myself, but I’m sure I’ll have a whole Page for that (or novel). As I feel that my chaotic, spontaneous, and sporadic life can somehow help other Mamas feel less worried about their own plates, or help some relate that they aren’t the only ones out there. I mean I can’t be the only one like this… can I?

The real points I aim to cover in this blog, are my own findings, and self-navigation through motherhood and this new life we are starting for ourselves. To help give some insight on things I am experiencing, have found, am learning, and trying, have failed, and have overcome. Mamas shouldn’t have to feel alone! There are TONS of us out there, who should really try to get together and help each other out with tips & ideas, pros & cons, dos & donts, inspiration & guidance, words of advice from those who have already gone through it.

I may be new to all of this, but I really want to create a community, and tell stories of struggle and triumph. If not for us- then for the little people we are creating and soon-to-be raising.

Anyways…

I hope that there are people out there who enjoy reading this blog, and give me ANY & ALL feedback you can. This isn’t just for me, it is really for you!

What do you want to hear? To know about? To learn? To share? I have a lot of content in mind. So, to space it out so I don’t go on these HUGE rants, it will take time- so please be patient!!!

Thank you for reading! I hope you keep following up on my new adventures!!